Is Love Stronger than Hate?

Do our better angels stand a chance amid so many cruel assaults?

It’s shatteringly cruel, this bill that Congress is touting. Children will go to bed hungry, and nearly 8.6 million people will lose access to Medicare. Small rural hospitals like the one where both of my parents were lovingly cared for until they drew their last breath may well be shuttered, requiring people to travel hundreds of miles for care. Those making less than $17,000 a year will pay another $1000 in taxes. Should they give up heat for the winter? The car they need to drive to work but can no longer afford to insure? Will parents stop eating so that their children can have shoes?

Maybe it would feel different if we were living in a crisis situation where all alternatives have been exhausted, and if the pain were shared. Instead, we witness self-satisfaction and celebration as the bill that wreaks havoc upon so many lives is proclaimed “beautiful,” and benefits for the rich are built on the backs of the poorest among us.

To cruelty, we add violence. Men, women, and children who are in this country legally are kidnapped from streets and courtrooms to be imprisoned without due process. Those who speak out against the government are threatened and many who represent us are reluctant to stand up to a president who wants to be king. I could go on, but many others have enumerated the litany of crushing cruelty, hate, violence, and abuse that is running rampant.

What I want to consider is this: In times such as these, can love overcome hate? Can kindness ever hold a candle to cruelty? Do our better angels stand a chance today?

I was planning to take the week off from writing, but somehow, I ended up at my laptop to share with you a story that’s been nagging at me this week. Maybe it is meant for you too.

It happened almost 25 years ago, shortly after 9/11 at Sacred Circles, a women’s gathering at the National Cathedral in Washington, DC. Surely, I must have had a journal with me although I can find no notes from this time. That I so clearly recollect the speech of this powerful speaker does not mean that it happened as it has been replayed from my memory. This is a paraphrase of the talk as I recall it:

“Is love stronger than hate? Yes, it is. But for love to complete, you must level the playing field. A terrorist gets up every day, absolutely determined to sow fear and terror. This is their focus, the object of their full attention. If you want love to compete with such hate, you must arise each morning with an equal or greater level of determination to fan the flames of love in the world. You must bring your full attention to love. Then you will see that love is stronger than hate. Indeed, this is the only way to overcome hate. The choice belongs to you.”

This message rocked my world then. It’s been nagging at the edges of my consciousness ever since we were overtaken by autocratic billionaire bullies who are intentionally bombarding us with acts of cruelty beyond our capacity to keep track. Yet I am reminded that I can get up every morning committed to act out of love, compassion, kindness. Of course, I will fail – time and again. Still, I can keep returning to that intention, strengthening my commitment to compassion as the commitment itself strengthens me.

HOWEVER, I want to make clear that in no way did I hear this as an invitation to back off, to stay home, to disengage from protests, rallies, phone calls, or direct action. Rather, I heard – and continue to hear – the invitation to embrace love as the source of my actions, a recognition that love itself calls me to stand for and with others – human and more than human.

Just one example: My love for trees inspires me to keep calling and writing about the woefully misnamed “Fix Our Forests Act” that bypasses critical environmental laws that protect our ecosystems and restricts scientific input and public engagement. Grounded in love, I find access to strength that I do not feel when acting from anger or fear. Yes, I still feel those “negative” emotions. Nonetheless, I can choose to source my actions from heart and soul. Julia Butterfly Hill did not live in the canopy of an ancient redwood tree for 738 days because she was fueled by hate for the people who wanted to cut down “Luna.” She loved the tree, and love enabled her to persevere.

I suspect that we will have many difficult choices to make over the coming days and months, my friends. We will need community to remind us of what we know: Love is amazingly strong, courageous, and tenacious. Together let’s bring forth all our better angels to stand for what we love.